The Well-Behaved Child

Well, I just finished reading "The Well-Behaved Child" by John Rosemond and let me just say, WOW! Talk about an eye-opening book! I was blown away by his philosophies, and found myself saying, "Hmm!" out loud on every page (He doesn't believe in rewards, he thinks parents are too influenced by psychologists rather than seeking help from their own parents--the list goes on and on!). Today was my first day trying one of his techniques (he has many, based on age) called Tickets. It's simple and makes a lot of sense, and I've already seen progress today. Here's what you do:

1. Choose 1 to 3 target misbehaviors you want your child to overcome (examples: Refusing to obey, Yelling when we say no, jumping on furniture, etc). Post on the refrigerator, either using words or pictures, along with 5 tickets.
2. When child displays one of the target misbehaviors, take child to fridge and tell them what they did wrong, take away a ticket, and put on top of fridge.
3. Optional time-out after each offense. If they don't sit in time-out, tell them they lose another ticket.
4. When last ticket is taken, they have a big consequence. He recommends putting child in room for rest of day (besides meals, bathroom, chores, etc.) and going to bed an hour early. Their room must be significantly reduced of "play value."

As their behavior improves, the daily tickets can reduce, or you can add one misbehavior at a time until they no longer do them (one or the other, not both). He says "full rehab" takes 6 to 12 weeks. The goal is to have perfectly behaved children--imagine that! No more nagging and stress! No more feeling like you aren't in control!

So I tried this today. Blake and Julianna both had one same misbehavior: Whining/yelling when we say no or tell you something to do. Julianna had another one (over the age of 5 you can do more than one at a time): Biting hands instead of bracelet. So here's how the first day went. They woke up around 7, Julianna had to be on the bus by 7:23. During that time she lost 2 tickets (no joke) and by noon, Blake had lost all 5. (I figured today would be hardest of all). So just like Rosemond recommends, I put Blake in his room, for the rest of the day, and it was not fun, AT ALL! He was successful in breaking out of his room twice, until I figured out how to lock his door from the outside by hanging a wooden chair over his doorknob. I tried to stay calm and let him come out for snacks, meals, bathroom, and FHE. Julianna got home around 12:30, she lasted until 4:15 with her tickets. They both went to bed at 6:30. I think tomorrow might be better--I have a feeling they won't use their tickets up as quickly.

Anyway, when I find out good ideas, I like to share them, because I'm guessing some of you struggle with discipline. Here's an excerpt from his book if you want to read. Wish me luck!

http://books.google.com/books?id=IvXEhtvFBrkC&printsec=frontcover&dq=The+Well-Behaved+Child&source=bl&ots=AhJEfttAFk&sig=CwIVpy1VvbTn6Q2FvuxXRcboZHY&hl=en&ei=FGcpTO_NBsSLnQeu5ZinAQ&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=5&ved=0CDEQ6AEwBA#v=onepage&q&f=false

200th post

I just noticed this is my 200th post. So in celebration of this momentous occasion, I have decided to write about....well, nothing. If I had something amazing to write about, I would, I promise. Julianna is in ESY (Extended school year) for 4 weeks (except Fridays), so she's gone in the morning. I am trying to do handwriting workbooks with Blake every day, all the while he is complaining and saying he just wants to play. I didn't get to run my 1st 5K last Saturday because after we got there we found out someone passed away right after they did the swimming portion (it was a tinman) so we just went home--very sad. I'm still running, though, and still am amazed that I went from HATING running to actually liking it (I don't love it yet--I hope I will soon) and doing as much as 4 miles at one time. I changed our blog--blogger has a new design tool--you should check it out! Tons of fun backgrounds, layouts, templates, etc. A book background was an easy choice--without books around here, Julianna would have no happiness in life. Speaking of books, I'm going to read "The Well-Behaved Child" by John Rosemond. It's supposed to be a great book on disciplining children. Anyone else have problems with this? Well, I do and I need to do something. He even talks about potty training so I'm excited to try some of his techniques. Anyway, that's my 200th post! Hope you are all having great summers so far.

And I should have put this in earlier--oops! A big congratulations to my sister Callie and her husband Craig on their baby girl August yesterday!

Kindergarten graduation!

Crying because she wouldn't take a picture with her teacher, so she took one with me instead!

Holding her rose from her best friend Drennen.

Standing on the stage after her name was announced.

With most of her class

We no longer have a kindergartner. Julianna graduated on Friday! Her teacher announced the class in alphabetical order, which means Julianna was last, of course! Each child got a nice diploma with a graduation picture, a certificate, and a picture and poem. Julianna's little "When I grow up" answer was, "I want to be a writer because I like books!" I loved it! We are so proud of her! On to REGULAR 1st grade (no more special day class/SDC). How did we get old enough to have a 1st grader?

What's been going on

It was hot enough today to do some trampoline sprinklers!

The BEST picture I could get of Blake at the preschool graduation (he finished his first year, of course. One more year to go!) He was not happy because all his friends were already playing on the playground--he was the last one to be announced.

In other Blake news, Blake is excited to wear his first belt to church. But then halfway through sacrament meeting, he wanted me to take it off. Oh well.

And just because it was cool, I wanted to share pictures of eggs laid by a bird that we discovered in a rock pile at the park. Pretty clever place!

This is the bird that was standing over her eggs. Every time someone would come within 6 feet, she would squeak at us and fluff her feathers! Can anyone name that bird? I've never seen one like it.

So it's been 2 weeks again. Where did the time go? We just got new brakes and tires for my van--and it was long overdue! But it wasn't so bad spending hundreds of dollars when we also got 4 tickets each to Wild Rivers, Wild Animal Park, and the SD Zoo, FREE! We did it at Discount Tire. Look for the ad in the mail. We are so excited!

This past Thursday we held our co-op preschool graduation. It was so fun! The kids wore white t-shirts with their handprints, and they all had little caps with tassels. We sang the circle time songs with them and each mom announced their child. Then we had pizza and snacks. I'm so glad I started the co-op--it has turned out to be a really great experience for everyone, and I look forward to working with new (and some old) people next year!

Anyway, that's about it for now. Random post, I know.

Updates

So it's been almost 2 weeks since I last blogged. I guess it's been busy, or boring! Probably both--haha. Anyway, Blake went on his first Fathers & Sons campout with Joel last night. He was so excited to go! Every time Julianna asked, "Can I go, Blake?" He'd say, "No, it's just for boys." As they were walking out the door, Blake sounded so grown up and said, "Bye, Mommy!" and marched off. He is sounding so much older and mature these days. Joel said he did really well and had a lot of fun. While they were gone, Julianna got to pick a movie (Bee Movie) and we ate way too much chocolate ice cream (I had the worst stomachache the rest of the night). We're the only ones that like chocolate, so I thought we'd spoil ourselves! Then we made pancakes in the morning and watched episodes of Powerpuff Girls on the computer. She is currently obsessed with the Powerpuff girls--they're growing on me!

The other day, Blake was watching some TV. All of a sudden, he turned it off and said, "I don't want to watch TV. It's going to hurt my brain." Gee, I wonder where he heard that. At least he's taking my warning seriously. And he also recently said, in the middle of eating some Starbursts, "I don't want candy. It's not good for my teeth." See, kids really do listen!

I just finished my 9-week couch to 5K training program. I can now run 30 minutes without stopping. The furthest I've run in that time is 2.34 mi. I'm hoping to get to a 10-min mile or less. I am glad I am pushing myself to run--this is the first time I've ever done it! Now we are going to run 3 miles 3 times a week and hopefully improve our 3-mile time to be ready for the 5K on June 12th.

Joel got his master's!

Holding his diploma. It's bigger than the bachelor's one!

Joel accepting his surprise award! (This is him on the big TV screen).

Joel and his sister Briana.

I am so proud of Joel for graduating from the Master's in English program at California Baptist University on Friday the 30th. Not only did he get to walk in the procession carrying the banner for the College of Arts and Sciences, but he also won the outstanding graduate award for the English graduate program. The best part was, he didn't even know he was getting the award until the English professor started talking about his thesis! It was a wonderful graduation, and we're glad Briana and her roommate could be there to celebrate with us. Congratulations, Joel!

$200 a month for groceries?

In May I have decided to try this program I heard about at a recent Stake Relief Society workshop. One of the classes was about being frugal, and the teacher shared a link that I went home and looked at. It's an article about how to live off $200 a month for a family of 4. I thought that seemed impossible, but the teacher said she tried it and it works! So here's the link:

http://www.budget101.com/frugal/frugal-living-articles-3/

Here are some ways I'm going to save money:

1. Make my own bread (I have a breadmaker).
2. Make a different treat each week for school lunches, instead of buying prepackaged goodies. I'm really excited to try homemade granola bars!
3. Continue my once-a-month cooking (OAMC), of course!
4. ONLY shop once a week--no impulse buying!

OAMC is actually one of the chapters in the article, so I was already living somewhat frugally! But I still can't get a handle on the grocery budget--I ALWAYS exceed it and it drives me crazy! So if I can stay around $200 a month (which is what we lived off in our student days at BYU) then I will be so happy! Do you think I can do it? Any other ideas on how to save money? I will let you know how it goes...