Great quote on parenting

"A sweet and obedient child will enroll a father or mother only in Parenting 101. If you are blessed with a child who tests your patience to the nth degree, you will be enrolled in Parenting 505. Rather than wonder what you might have done wrong in the premortal life to be so deserving, you might consider the more challenging child a blessing and opportunity to become more godlike yourself. With which child will your patience, long-suffering, and other Christlike virtues most likely be tested, developed, and refined? Could it be possible that you need this child as much as this child needs you?" Elder Lynn G. Robbins, "What Manner of Men and Women Ought Ye to Be?"

Best news in a long time

On April 21st, we had the biggest blessing come to our family in a very long time. Julianna was evaluated by the Inland Regional Center and finally qualified for services. We have been fighting them since she was 3, but year after year they did not qualify her for this reason or that. Two years ago after her evaulation and denial, we thought we were done trying with them and decided to move on. But 6 months ago, I felt strongly that I needed to try one more time. My persistence paid off, not to mention the MANY prayers being said for her to get this help. So now that she's a client, she will get services IN THE HOME--something we have needed for a long time. It's great that she can go to school and get help there, but she comes home and we struggle with how to help her in daily living skills, behaviors, the list goes on and on. Very soon there will be trained people coming here to help Julianna in the home, plus we might get respite care as well. The best part is the regional center will be there for her when she is an adult, so we don't need to worry about that anymore.

Since getting this long-awaited yes (almost a week ago) it is amazing how much my spirits have been lifted. I feel like a brand new mom, like I can do anything now. Just knowing that I have more support coming has seriously brightened my whole attitude toward life! A huge burden has been lifted for sure, and now I don't have that little nagging feeling inside saying, "She needs more help," because she has it now.

The big shocker from this evaluation--the psychologist feels strongly that Julianna does NOT have autism, but global delays, anxiety and sensory issues, and perhaps motor tics--they said she is a "unique girl." We are getting closer to figuring her out. Regardless, she is still our Julianna, and we love her just the way she is! We are so lucky to have such a smart, funny, beautiful little girl.

Thanks to all of you who were praying and thinking of us!

Temple Grandin movie

Making Of

We just watched this last night. AMAZING. I heard about this movie, but it was released on HBO. Now it's available to rent on Redbox and probably Netflix. It's about a woman with autism--true story. Claire Danes plays her and she does a GREAT job. It was nominated for 15 emmys and won 7, including best movie. There were some parts in this movie that I just cried--the screenwriter was really able to say exactly how it feels to have a child with autism as portrayed by Temple's mother. I wanted to find that scene to post, but you'll have to settle for this one I found on HBO. I loved this movie. Watch it! You will love it!

Are you there?

Parenting


Okay, this one made me cry. A LOT. Maybe that means I have some work to do. If you haven't seen it, watch it! It's a Mormon Message.

Haircuts

I was feeling ambitious today, and decided to cut both the kid's hair. I think they turned out pretty good.

In more exciting news, Julianna now does #2 on the potty!

In the most exciting news, my brother Cliff got home from his mission on Tuesday! I get to fly to Utah (by myself) this weekend to see him and more family.

Big Updates

Three significant things have happened this week that have been miracles.

1. I decided to fight my HUGE red-light camera ticket in court yesterday. Because the officer who issued the ticket (using the camera?) didn't show up to court, I get my whole $456 back. SO glad I went in and took the time.

2. Today I was an advocate for Julianna at a meeting put on by the area board for developmental disabilities--in attendance was the new Director for the Inland Regional Center (the IRC has denied Julianna year after year even though she's diagnosed with autism). The new director wanted to hear firsthand from parents their concerns. I emailed the person in charge of the meeting and after hearing my story, she wanted me to be one of the key speakers at the meeting and share my story. We'll see if Julianna will finally get help! The IRC services help more at home, which is something I've needed for years now.

3. And here's the BIG one--drum roll--Julianna can now go #1 IN THE TOILET! We decided to hire outside help for a few sessions (and only had to do this because the IRC isn't helping us--big reason why I spoke at the meeting) and toward the end of the last session, we had a miracle! She did it! We are so happy for her. HUGE burden lifted from me, even though this really is the beginning of another long road to finalize it, but for her to do this makes me so glad we paid for the extra potty help.

So those are my updates!

The Well-Behaved Child

Well, I just finished reading "The Well-Behaved Child" by John Rosemond and let me just say, WOW! Talk about an eye-opening book! I was blown away by his philosophies, and found myself saying, "Hmm!" out loud on every page (He doesn't believe in rewards, he thinks parents are too influenced by psychologists rather than seeking help from their own parents--the list goes on and on!). Today was my first day trying one of his techniques (he has many, based on age) called Tickets. It's simple and makes a lot of sense, and I've already seen progress today. Here's what you do:

1. Choose 1 to 3 target misbehaviors you want your child to overcome (examples: Refusing to obey, Yelling when we say no, jumping on furniture, etc). Post on the refrigerator, either using words or pictures, along with 5 tickets.
2. When child displays one of the target misbehaviors, take child to fridge and tell them what they did wrong, take away a ticket, and put on top of fridge.
3. Optional time-out after each offense. If they don't sit in time-out, tell them they lose another ticket.
4. When last ticket is taken, they have a big consequence. He recommends putting child in room for rest of day (besides meals, bathroom, chores, etc.) and going to bed an hour early. Their room must be significantly reduced of "play value."

As their behavior improves, the daily tickets can reduce, or you can add one misbehavior at a time until they no longer do them (one or the other, not both). He says "full rehab" takes 6 to 12 weeks. The goal is to have perfectly behaved children--imagine that! No more nagging and stress! No more feeling like you aren't in control!

So I tried this today. Blake and Julianna both had one same misbehavior: Whining/yelling when we say no or tell you something to do. Julianna had another one (over the age of 5 you can do more than one at a time): Biting hands instead of bracelet. So here's how the first day went. They woke up around 7, Julianna had to be on the bus by 7:23. During that time she lost 2 tickets (no joke) and by noon, Blake had lost all 5. (I figured today would be hardest of all). So just like Rosemond recommends, I put Blake in his room, for the rest of the day, and it was not fun, AT ALL! He was successful in breaking out of his room twice, until I figured out how to lock his door from the outside by hanging a wooden chair over his doorknob. I tried to stay calm and let him come out for snacks, meals, bathroom, and FHE. Julianna got home around 12:30, she lasted until 4:15 with her tickets. They both went to bed at 6:30. I think tomorrow might be better--I have a feeling they won't use their tickets up as quickly.

Anyway, when I find out good ideas, I like to share them, because I'm guessing some of you struggle with discipline. Here's an excerpt from his book if you want to read. Wish me luck!

http://books.google.com/books?id=IvXEhtvFBrkC&printsec=frontcover&dq=The+Well-Behaved+Child&source=bl&ots=AhJEfttAFk&sig=CwIVpy1VvbTn6Q2FvuxXRcboZHY&hl=en&ei=FGcpTO_NBsSLnQeu5ZinAQ&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=5&ved=0CDEQ6AEwBA#v=onepage&q&f=false

I am a newly converted once-a-month mom!

My sink after all the meals were done (I kind of cleaned as I went to save time).

The top of my freezer--all the freezer bags of stew and chili

The bottom of my freezer--all the casseroles and bigger dishes.

My entire freezer--full of dinners for the MONTH!

Just wanted to update you on my big cooking day last Thursday--it was SO GREAT! I was able to make 10 really great meals in less than 6 hours and they all fit in my freezer! (Babysitting was a HUGE HELP!) We have been eating a different meal each night since then and they have all been SO GOOD! The best part is that I don't have to stress about dinner every day! All I have to do is remember to thaw and preheat the oven! Some meals you don't even have to thaw at all--just double the cooking time. So I am very pleased with once a month mom cooking and will definitely do it next month. It's such a wonderful idea. The grocery shopping was EASY because the website tells you everything to buy (by watching sales, it only cost around $100 for all the ingredients! not kidding), the recipes tell you how to cook for the bigger portions, and there are step-by-step instructions on how to cook all of them in the easiest order possible. It could not be easier!

Have I converted anyone else? See the onceamonthmom link on my sidebar!

"I don't wanna get bigger!"

I think I have officially scared my children into thinking that growing up is not fun--only painful. Yesterday we were reading one of our favorite books, Faces. It has pictures of all different kids and one page talks about eyes, ears, noses, and mouths, with close-up pictures of them. A few of the mouths had teeth missing. So I explained to them that when they get bigger, your teeth will get wiggly and fall out and then big teeth will grow in. If you could have seen the look on Julianna and Blake's faces--oh my gosh. The thought of their teeth getting WIGGLY and FALLING OUT?? Maybe they thought all their teeth would fall out at one time, I don't know. So to make them feel better, I said, it's fun when you lose a tooth, because then you can put your tooth under your pillow and the tooth fairy will come during the night (we were talking about this close to bedtime) and take your tooth and leave you money that you can buy something with. This idea was intriguing to Julianna--her response was, Can I buy ice cream from the ice cream man? I said, Yes! So then I did a little recap for them so they could understand: When you get bigger, you will lose your little teeth, and then you can put your teeth under your pillow for the tooth fairy who will give you money when you're sleeping at night. I could tell they were thinking about this carefully.

About a half hour later it was bedtime. As I'm asking Blake to get in his bed, he covers his mouth (or his teeth), and with a pouty voice, he says, "I don't wanna get bigger!" And as he's laying in bed after I leave, he's crying and whining and saying this over and over. Even after telling him that it's okay, you won't get bigger, I can't even console him, so I go to Julianna's room. Julianna's worry was, "Is the tooth fairy gonna get me now?" I told her no, you haven't lost any teeth yet. She reminded me that she didn't want her teeth to get wiggly, and I told her it's kind of fun to wiggle them, and she started to cry. So they had a hard time going to sleep last night because of this big news I dropped on them. I guess growing up isn't as fun as I remember!

Mothers

I wanted to share a quote by Sheri L. Dew from something the RS gave the moms at church today:

"Both God the Father and Adam called Eve the 'mother of all living'--and they did so before she ever bore a child. Motherhood is more than bearing children, though it is certainly that. It is the essence of who we are as women. It defines our identity, our divine stature and nature, and the unique traits our father gave us. As daughters of our Heavenly Father, and as daughters of Eve, we are all mothers and we have always been mothers. And we each have the responsibility to love and help lead the rising generation."

So next time you moms feel like you're just not cut out for the job, remember that you have the traits necessary and it is part of our IDENTITY, even if you don't have children! Believe me, I'm still trying to remember this, EVERY DAY, as I try to fulfill my role as a mother. It's hard, but it's worth it! We are needed and special! Happy Mother's Day!

A cautionary tale--boys will be boys

Yes, I've been a "lazyblogger". That's my new term for slacking on blogging. I really just wanted all of you to bask in my mom skills glory for a while. Anyway, this is a post I've wanted to do, and now I finally have the perfect moment to do it.

Having a girl and then a boy has really taught me how different boys and girls are. Especially in the "mess" department. And because boys love to make messes, I think when you have a boy, you should also have a "warning" label attached, or a "caution" sticker, something like that. You know, those big stickers on blow dryer cords that have bold letters and warn you not to drop a plugged-in blow dryer in the water. So, here's what happened one day that made me decide to write my own warning label for Blake the Destroyer (this has been his nickname lately).

The culprit--an innocent buttermilk ranch packet from Jack N the Box. It was left over from a lunch Grandma brought one day and Blake wanted to hold it as he ate his dinner of hot dogs and peaches. CAUTION: DO NOT GIVE RANCH, BBQ, OR ANY TYPE OF SAUCE PACKET TO A TODDLER BOY. DISASTER CAN OCCUR.

SAUCE PACKET MAY EXPLODE DUE TO SQUEEZING AND GET ON CHILD'S CLOTHING, THUS MAKING A HUGE MESS FOR YOU TO CLEAN UP.

CAUTION: DO NOT WALK AWAY WHILE CHILD IS EATING A MEAL. IT MAY END UP ALL OVER THE FLOOR WHILE YOU'RE NOT LOOKING. AGAIN, HUGE MESS TO CLEAN UP.

CAUTION: BOYS LIKE TO MAKE MESSES. SEE FACIAL EXPRESSION OF BOY ABOVE.

Okay, Blake does have his soft side, too. See above pictures. He LOVES playing with Julianna, for the most part, and gives her hugs (that usually result in wrestling matches, as you can see in the second hugging picture) but they do start out as hugs! And when Julianna cries, he always goes over to her and says, "You OK, Nana? Don't cry." And he stays by her side until she's all better. And of course he is a BIG momma's boy. He loves to cuddle with me on the couch when Julianna's at preschool and watch the Wiggles. And I also love to lay down with him while he's falling asleep for his nap. So, that's my story for this week.

My mom skills at work

Julianna showing off her artwork--Disney princesses. She's getting much better at drawing. She took the above picture--notice her foot in the shot. These are the most meaningful shots of the whole post, by the way.

Our daily piano lessons, or piano banging. They are quite good at playing "forte" or even "fortissimo." And at times, they can do a nice "piano" volume when I beg (we're working on the pianissimo--and notice Blake's devilish grin.)

Juilanna discovered how fun it was to put one of those stickers you get at the doctor's office on her mouth. She kept it on for a good ten minutes. And that means it was pretty quiet for those ten minutes, at least from her. Below, Blake laughing at Julianna's discovery. He didn't last long with the sticker, though.

Blake's "Spiderman" pose in Joel's Spiderman shirt

When they're really bad, we tell them they have to sleep in the cabinets at the top of the stairs. They actually weren't opposed to the idea--they got pillows and made themselves comfortable (again, sarcasm--don't worry--this isn't a concentration camp here--hope I don't offend anyone by that comment, it just reminded me of one when I took the picture!).

Blake putting his knees in his shirt and trying to waddle around on his feet.

Julianna doing the same thing but not as well as Blake.

Blake relaxing in our new purple bean bag.

So, what do I do all day as a mom? Well, here are some recent pics of our very important, meaningful activities. (This is sarcasm, in case you couldn't tell!) We just have fun a lot of the time! Besides, pictures of important things wouldn't be fun to look at anyway. So here's some funny things the kids have done lately. Just a disclaimer--I really do many important, worthwhile things with them. I do have some mom skills, they just aren't pictured in this blog post. Or maybe they are--you be the judge.

Blake helping out and making messes, too

Blake loves to try to help out and copy what I do (for the most part). He found a mop and started mopping the carpet...

But what he does best is make messes--lately instead of eating his yogurt, he likes to smear it all over the counter. A future artist, perhaps?

My Cute Kids!

Blake showing off his skittles face. Julianna was nice to share her skittles with him.

Julianna giving a great smile for the camera. She's getting better at it!

I love this picture of Blake, even though he has food on his face!

A cute shot of Julianna after a bath one night. Her bangs looked so cute after I brushed her hair!

I have found the secret to keeping both Blake and Julianna on the couch when I need a few minutes to do something--just put in "The Wiggles!"

They like to take all the toys out (as you can see in our living room) and climb inside, then Joel pushes them around. I think Julianna didn't want Blake to get out!

Christmas Riddle Answers/Video of Blake

As promised, here are the answers to those fun Christmas riddles. I'm sure you are all dying of anticipation!

1 . Jingle Bell Rock
2. Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire
3. All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth
4. 0 Holy Night
5. It Came Upon a Midnight Clear
6. 0 Come, All Ye Faithful
7. Away in a Manger
8. Deck the Hall
9. Little Drummer Boy
10. We Three Kings
11. Silent Night
12. God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen
13. Santa Claus is Coming to Town
14. Let it Snow
15. Go, Tell It on the Mountain
16. Rudolph, the Red-nosed Reindeer
17. What Child is This?
18. Joy to the World
19. Hark! The Herald Angels Sing
20. The Twelve Days of Christmas

Did you get any right? They are from http://www.new-life.net/chrtms07.htm. Kind of fun, and also kind of late, sorry! I totally forgot and haven't even looked at my blog since Christmas Day! But anyway, the video is of Blake showing off his new sport, we call it "Stairsliding." This video shows him going even faster than normal, because he's wearing slick pants. My favorite part is hearing Julianna laughing in the background! Should we send it to America's Funniest Home Videos? Anway, we are back and blogging again. Hope you all had a great Christmas and New Year!

Merry Christmas!

We want to wish all of you a MERRY CHRISTMAS! We hope you are enjoying time with family and friends and eating lots of good food and just loving this time of year. We love you all!

Our Christmas Tree

Here are some pictures of our HUGE Christmas tree, taken on our new video camera using the still image setting. Apparently most video cameras don't take great stills (no megapixels), so here's what it looks like. We were hoping to save money by getting a video camera/digital camera all in one, because we want to start video recording things of us and the kids, but it looks like we might have to get a new digital camera, too! At least you can all see our beautiful tree, somewhat! Once I have time to figure out how to upload video, I will do that, too. I plan to post my audition for "Don't Forget the Lyrics" so you can see how I did.

Along with Christmas, Joel does these Christmas riddles with his students that I think are fun. Maybe you can figure them out. They are all popular Christmas songs (secular and religious):

1. Boulder of the Tinkling Metal Spheres

2. Castaneous-colored Seed Vesicated in a Conflagration

3. Singular Yearning for the Twin Anterior Incisors

4. Righteous Darkness

5. Arrival Time: 2400 hrs - Weather: Cloudless

6. Loyal Followers Advance

7. Far Off in a Feeder

8. Array the Corridor

9. Bantam Male Percussionist

10. Monarchial Triad

11. Nocturnal Noiselessness

12. Jehovah Deactivate Blithe Chevaliers

13. Red Man En Route to Borough

14. Frozen Precipitation Commence

15. Proceed and Enlighten on the Pinnacle

16. The Quadruped with the Vermilion Proboscis

17. Query Regarding Identity of Descendant

18. Delight for this Planet

19. Give Attention to the Melodious Celestial Beings

20. The Dozen Festive 24 Hour Intervals

I will post the answers sometime next week! Have fun! You can give your answers in the comments. If I don't post something sooner, Merry Christmas, everyone!

Preschool art

Julianna comes home everyday from preschool with the funniest things! Today she brought home some sort of hat with foil antennas, maybe? I'm not sure, but I asked her if she was an alien, and she said yes. So they're learning about aliens, huh? But most of her works of art are very seasonal, like the top picture--a pumpkin pie, which was basically brown construction paper with sand sprinkled on it. She seems to be loving preschool. I have a file drawer where I keep all her "masterpieces."

On another note, Blake took his first steps today! He took about 4 steps 5 times in a row, walking to Joel when he got home from work. He wouldn't do it for me all day, so I asked Joel to try, and he did it right away! Knowing Blake, he'll waste no time getting up and walking all the time. When I get a good picture, I'll post it.